On the heels of our “Loss Seminar,” allow me to offer a few pieces of advice when ministering to those who have suffered loss.
1. Give them your presence. Don’t allow a person to suffer alone. You don’t have to say anything. Just be there. Your presence is what will be remembered and treasured, not your words.
2. Be there when the dust settles. We often inundate the grieving family with support during the immediate time of loss, but who is ministering to this family two months later?
3. Remember dates. Mark your calendar and make note of birthdays, anniversaries, and especially the anniversary date of the person’s death, and call or send a card. Such remembrances are treasures to those who are grieving.
5. Do good. Don’t simply offer to do good; actually do it. Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” say something like, “Would you rather me run to the store and get some groceries for you, or would you rather have me do the dishes for you?” This wording is much more likely to receive a positive response and allow you the opportunity to minister.
6. Let people grieve. A widow once told me that whenever she started to cry, a close relative would tell her to stop crying and be strong. Don’t encourage a person to suppress grief. Crying is not only a human response to grief, it’s healthy.
7. Avoid empty platitudes. Trite phrases that do not comfort (some of which do not even accurately reflect biblical truth), can actually cause one to be angry with God and need to remain unspoken. If you struggle for words to say, then simply say these, “I’m sorry,” “I’m praying for you,” and “I love you.”
If we follow these suggestions, we will be better equipped to comfort others the way God comforts us (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).